


and two's too many

by vuullets



Category: G.I. Joe (IDW Comics), The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: F/M, M/M, this only exists because i want blackrock to have a filterable tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vuullets/pseuds/vuullets
Summary: Marissa wasn’t one to peg her best friend and Rock’n’Roll as having many similarities. Apparently dating purple and black cybertronians who are jerks and hate having feelings is a new trend in G.I. Joe.
Relationships: Ayana Jones | Mayday/Garrison Blackrock | Sovereign, implied marissa faireborn/thundercracker, rock'n'roll/skywarp
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	and two's too many

It was a universal fact that meetings sucked. It was also a universal fact that meetings sucked even more when it was a bunch of national security agents accusing each other of being shapeshifting, magic-wielding aliens.

Of course every single government had been compromised by dire wraiths. And of course, instead of seeking help from Rom or his allies, G.I. Joe had decided that nothing was sacred. Or could be detected as wraith, considering the wraith’s upgraded cloaking abilities.

As the ex-EDC commander, Marissa had seen the full extent of the devastation the wraiths had brought upon the planet. Having been best friends with a G.I. Joe member had brought her to understand that infiltrating them was highkey terrifying. And having been someone who wasn’t even directly involved in the conflict at hand? Marissa decided she’d probably rather be reading Thundercracker’s shitty scripts than this.

“I really can’t believe that you let me fall into these people’s hands,” Skywarp growled from across the “room” that equated to the main section of the base as Marissa walked out on her fellow humans.

“And you think I can change that?” Marissa asked.

“I’d love it,” Skywarp said sarcastically. “I’m the only one who’s not in that room committing acts of treason. As my people learned, cybertronians are very easy to spot when taken over by wraiths.”

“Yeah,” Marissa said. “Of course they are.”

“After they found Countdown out, it’s just been a mess of politics. Tracked every single contact he’d had. Ran into the fact that the wraiths mutilated a human into one of their war machines. It’s fucked up the squad morale.”

“Try working with the damn Knights. They’re worse than _me_ ,” said another voice. Marissa and Skywarp turned towards one of the other doorways within the room to encounter an incredibly small cybertronian, holding a shitload of what must have been Solstar Order technology.

“How the hell did you get that?” Marissa asked blankly.

“Oh, easy. Ever since the Schleteva incident, the Knights have kept their eyes on me. The Talisman is gone now, and they’re still expecting me to touch someone and boom! They’re a dire wraith.”

“That’s not possible,” Skywarp said. “At least, I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

Setting down the stuff he had been holding, Blackrock turned to face the normal sized cybertronian. “Yeah, I know. But I’m convinced Scarlett got everyone to believe I fucked the Talisman, or some shit.”

“How the hell would you do that?” Skywarp inquired.

“Well, it probably wouldn’t include the way that the word normally implies.”

Marissa groaned and held her face in her hand. Blackrock had been here for three minutes, and already, the world was falling apart. How he had become even _more_ insufferable after finally being on their side was a question Marissa desired an answer to.

“Hey, big guy. Is Ayana here at all?” Blackrock asked. Marissa was too distracted in contemplating life to actually comprehend what Blackrock had just said.

“Ayana?” Skywarp asked.

“Codename: Mayday. About my height. Dark skin, really pretty brown eyes, has an attitude that equates to killing me for everything I’ve ever done in my uh. Many years of existence. Haven’t got a date yet.”

“You’re a fossil, Sove-”

“Don’t call me that!” Blackrock exclaimed. “Only one person, or maybe three depending on if it’s a good day or not, can address me with that name.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you’re probably older than Alpha Trion. And he’s approaching the edge of death by the second.”

“Y’know, crazy guy who introduced me to my actual appearance with this set of memories decided to pilot Trion’s headless body. Wanted me to do it as well.”

“And why didn’t you?”

“I don’t turn into anything! I mean, there’s either the human disguise or the fact that I disappoint everyone who has ever had any expectations for me. But the term “transformer” really doesn’t suit me,” Blackrock said.

“What are you two even talking about?” asked Marissa. 

“Have you tried carbon dating Blackrock yet?” Skywarp asked her. Marissa felt like she was in hell.

“I’m no paleontologist, but I’m sure that’s not the thing you’d want to do,” she said with little expression in her voice.

“Don’t get on my bad side, big guy,” Blackrock added. “Ex-Director Faireborn, clearly all cybertronian jets are stupid. Between yours and this dude, I’d say the brain cells went directly to me.”

“Blackrock, can you just shut up?” Marissa asked.

Blackrock withdrew, shifting back into his “human” form and sitting atop a table opposite from where his mess of foreign objects was.

“Garrison Blackrock,” Marissa told him.

“Yes?”

“Are you wearing...a hoodie and skinny jeans?” Marissa spoke with utter shock and awe.

“And combat boots,” Blackrock added in.

“What the fuck?”

“I’ve learned to take some time off. Plus, my girlfriend’s always insisting I do something other than work.”

“Your _girlfriend_?”

“She’s great. You’d really like her.”

“The world is really, really falling apart,” Marissa said.

“If it’s because of a cybertronian, I can think of far worse.”

The smaller two of the trio turned around to face Rock’n’Roll, one of the many Joes stuck in what seemed to be the worst meeting in the history of mankind.

“Oh, hi, Craig,” Skywarp said to him.

“Is that a reference to the Room?” Marissa asked.

“I doubt he knows what it is, but I want to know why there’s two people in this group who are dating cybertronians with such a good color scheme as ours, Skywarp,” Blackrock said.

“I’m not with him!” Skywarp exclaimed.

“But we still are close, right?” Craig inquired.

“Maybe,” spat the Seeker.

“Even _I’m_ better with my feelings then you!” Blackrock exclaimed.

“Shut up,” Marissa told him. “You’re the worst already.”

“Yeah! Get him! He is the worst!” Skywarp cheered.

“Screw you, big guy!” Blackrock said. He promptly left the room, seemingly looking for something or someone else to annoy.

“Skywarp…” Craig trailed on.

“It’s for the greater good,” Skywarp said. “America and the world are safer without him.”

“You don’t need to be so rude about it though.”

“Don’t like me, move to another room.”

“I’ll take you up on your offer,” Marissa replied.

The humans entered into a nearby room that was seemingly a storage space. Marissa sat down at the table in the middle of the room, holding her head up with an arm.

“Come on. You’ve never seen someone get with a cybertronian before?” Craig broke an awkward silence that had gone on for a few minutes.

“Nope. And even still, I knew this would happen someday, and here I am, shocked when it finally occurs.”

“You’d rather talk about that than Blackrock, though.”

“Yeah, I would.” Marissa agreed.

Elsewhere in a certain super precise coordinate in the universe, Blackrock had been hopelessly trying to find Ayana. 

“What did you need me for?” asked someone finally. Ayana was behind him, looking mildly cross. “Everyone who saw me told me about you.”

“Hey,” Blackrock said. He looked at her happily. “You miss me?”

“Maybe,” Ayana replied. She walked up to him and pulled him into a short kiss. “What do you think, Sov?”

“I think that I want to piss off Marissa,” Blackrock replied.

“We can be civil about this,” Ayana told him. “Where is she?”

“With ‘Warper, who still holds a grudge against me for not fixing him. Not my fault that I got kidnapped by a lunatic straight after that promise.”

“You could have gone and helped him after you came back.”

“Yeah, I could’ve. But hey, I was in a bad headspace. It’s about time for me to fix my mistakes, don’t you think?”

“That’s what you always tell me.”

“Hey, I’m trying. It’s a bit hard considering the situation of being me.”

“Oh yes, because your life is the _worst_.”

“It’s worse without you,” Blackrock said quietly. One of his hands held onto her’s with a loose grip, and he smiled at her.

“This was inevitable,” Ayana said. “I should tell Marissa, it’s only fai-”

“Oh, absolutely not. I got that covered, love.” Blackrock immediately walked out of the room and eyed Marissa the second he saw her.

“Hey, ex-Director!” he yelled.

“What?” Marissa turned around to face him. Blackrock looked at her with one of his signature smug expressions.

“I’m dating Ayana.”

“What?”

“I’m dating your best friend and there’s nothing you can do about it, Marissa!”

“Holy shit, Sovereign,” Ayana said, coming up behind him. “You’re the worst.”

“But I stole your heart, didn’t I?” Blackrock shot back. Ayana just shook her head and looked at Marissa with their shared “Garrison Blackrock Is Being Stupid Again” look.

“This day can’t get any weirder,” Marissa said after contemplating the situation.

“It sure as hell can!” Blackrock exclaimed. 

“Hey, Sov,” said Ayana, who took his hands in her’s. “Why don’t you go piss off Skywarp instead?”

“I can see that you want me away from the situation, and because I’m such a _nice_ partner, I’ll respect that,” he told her, and promptly left.

“He’s worse than mine,” Craig pointed out.

“He’s worse than any other life form on this sphere of rock,” Ayana corrected.

“So, this is a trend now. This is how G.I. Joe runs now. With people dating cybertronians,” Marissa told them.

“It’s two, that’s a very small amount,” Craig said.

“As much as I know the planet hates Blackrock, I think it’s a better idea to be with him rather than say, a dire wraith,” Ayana chained onto the response of her fellow Joe.

“This is fine and normal,” Marissa said. “And also an awful notion.”

“Is it about TC?” asked a fourth person from the doorway.

“Blackrock!” all three of them exclaimed.

“Just making an analysis. Putting in my two cents. Telling you the things you need said out loud. Also, can I come back now?”

“No,” Ayana told Blackrock. He stood in the doorway for what was approximately another fourteen seconds, before leaving for good.

“We’ve covered Skywarp and your co-worker, so when am I getting the explanation on you and Blackrock?” Marissa asked.

“Oh, that’s simple. Mistakes. Just a lot of mistakes,” Ayana answered. “And he’s also really sweet when we’re alone.”

“But every other time he’s off the shits?” Craig asked.

“Have you seen him at literally any presentation?” Ayana replied.

“I have, and that alone should stir people away from him,” Marissa added.

“Probably should,” said Ayana. “And with good reason.”

“So what about you and Skywarp’s friend?” Craig asked. Marissa groaned.

“Look, I’m not sure how he feels, but he’s somehow the only person who doesn’t seem to constantly disappoint me. That’s probably because his writing is so bad that my expectations for him are lower than sea level, but if the universe really hates me, it could be something else.”

“Oh, you care about him,” Ayana said. “And he cares about you.”

“And you know this because?”

“He looks at you in a remotely similar way that Ian looked at Arcee.”

“Who?”

“It doesn’t matter, he didn’t get very far.”

“So here we are, with a realization I really didn’t want,” said Marissa.

“Jump on the chance,” Craig said. “He already sounds nicer than Skywarp.”

“You could do worse,” added Ayana. 

“I guess I should tell him,” Marissa concluded. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“He dies on the spot,” Blackrock added from the doorway again. “Once again, sorry. Or maybe I’m not sorry. This is pretty amusing to me.”

Marissa just ignored him. Because at the end of the day, at least this wasn’t only her problem. And from the looks of things, it was going to be a relatively common problem in the near future. Which, at the end of the day, was alright with Marissa.

**Author's Note:**

> *garrison blackrock voice* god isnt real but that guy who got fucked up by the dire wraiths is
> 
> when will i write rom stuff. please let me write rom stuff.


End file.
